nechbi’s Neighborhood

If you've been using social networking (and/or microblogging) service Twitter for more than a day you'll have no doubt been bombarded with followers that don't seem quite on the up-and-up.  You are right to be suspicious, and I'll tell you why...

Some Twitter users are, in actual fact, emotionless killing machines sent back in time from the year 2012 (when the catastrophe that is London hosting the Olympics triggers a series of unfortunate events foretold by Jim Carrey in a film 8 years previously).  Until that time they are relatively harmless but they do pose a great annoyance.

So, here's a simple five-step way to tell:

1. The person has a number at the end of their name
2. The username and name-name seem kinda at odds (this is a bad example, sorry!)
3. Their web link is a TinyURL (or some other URL shortening thingy-ma-bob)
4. They're following over a 100x more people than they have following back
5. They've tweeted a big fat ZERO (or thereabouts)
6. Oh yes, here's number six of my '5 Signs Your Follower Isn't Human'... They can't be arsed to upload an avatar
   

Friend or Foe - Five simple signs...

If you're in the UK and have either opened a paper or watched the TV news today (December 22nd) you'll have seen a shedload snowload of reports about my hometown.  See, we were - apparently - the worst hit by the wintry weather yesterday and through the night.

The worst hit places were the town centre, the ring road and the major roads feeding it.  I wasn't in any of those places but I did happen to stumble upon a car that had crashed after it had (obviously) lost control on a downhill bend.  The driver managed to take out a signpost, a few tree branches and a family friend's hedge.

Of course, whenever I see anything even remotely interesting, I whip out a camera phone - in this case my Samsung i8910.  Despite it being able to record in high definition, it's not much use in the dark - as you can see...

And here's some pictures (again, taken with the i8910)

The Hills Have Ice

Signs of Struggle

Park and Hide

A Washington DC cop didn't see the funny side when folk started pelting his unmarked car with snowballs.  The crowd of grownups had chosen his vehicle 'cos it was a Hummer.  Well, he wiped the smiles off their faces (temporarily) when he exited the vee-here-call and drew his gun.

You don't bring guns to a snowball fight

Here's where things turn from strange to stranger - the crowd started throwing snowballs again whilst chanting 'You don't bring guns to a snowball fight'.  Here, watch the video (from Reason.tv)...

According to today's News of the World, Fergie could soon be selling copies of family heirlooms on shopping channel QVC.  The Duchess of York, not to be confused with this Fergie, that Fergie or the other Fergie - and certainly not Feagal Sharkey, is hoping to launch a range of crap - including biscuit tins - to be sold direct to sofa-constrained shoppers.

Royalty Value & Convenience

Diamonique to Duchess: What Fergie could look like on QVC

I've come across some more weird and wonderful gift ideas in the past week or so.  The following two aren't wonderful in the least, just weird...

It's not how I roll

Scare any remaining friends you have left with this!

I love StatCounter.  It truly is the 21st Century's greatest invention.  Oh, okay, maybe not the greatest - but it's got to be right up there, hasn't it?  I mean, if it wasn't for StatCounter I'd be blissfully unaware that anyone ever bothered to read this humble web log of mine.  I'd also not know that US Department of Defence (sorry, Defense) has a keen interest in Playmobile and/or Roman Coliseums...

Hey Sam

Doing a routine check to see who had dropped by I noticed the above and was, quite frankly, a tad concerned.  Oh my God, what have I said (without thinking) now?  Am I in a spot of bother?  As it turns out I think I'm in the clear.  Phew!  Didn't want to be stopped from entering the country in future.  'Sam' just has an interest in toys, and I guess, Sony Ericsson phones...

Dodig. I dig. We all dig

DoD + Playmobil = War games?

BTW, FWIW USAISC stands for United States Army Information Systems Command.  Are they trying to learn a thing or two from the Romans?  And if they are, would that be a good thing or not?  Hmm...

I won't pretend that I know all about the technology behind LTE - that would be a disservice to my readers (all five of you..)  But, from what I gather it's where the mobile interweb is headed and it knocks spots off of what we have at the moment.  Whether it lives up to its promises, who knows.  I just wish I lived in Slough right now (yes, I know - be careful what you wish for and all that).

Phone manufacturer Huawei, probably best known for their dongles, joined forces with Telefonica's O2 to run trials of '4G' in the mobile network's home town sometime this year.  When exactly, who knows?  Anyway, lucky punters were able to reach mobile broadband speeds I can only dream of getting through my home ADSL.

According to Broadband Genie, Huawei's VP for western Europe claimed LTE would be able to handle up to 20 times as much data as current 3G networks.  It's all down to how the tech behind it uses bandwidth more efficiently, I'm led to believe.

When will see a consumer rollout?  Who knows, but I'd put money on LTE offering me super-fast speeds years before BT Openreach or Virgin Media get 'round to hooking me up.

Is the 9800 a INQ Chat killer?

Over the weekend the interweb's been abuzz with talk of Google's Nexus and INQ's 3G Chat.  Seeing as I'm unlikely to get my hands on either of them, I thought I'd see what else is available right now on the market.  Here's what I found...

First off, here's some competition for INQ's Chat.  It comes in the form of a BlackBerry clone that rocks a 'flat' touchscreen (you really don't want the lumpy kind) and, one upping INQ's first qwerty, an analogue TV tuner.  Yes, that's right an analogue TV tuner.  Enjoy fuzzy pictures for a few weeks or a couple of years - depending on where you live in the UK.

You can shove not one but two SIMs inside this beast - handy for those that have two contracts or have a work phone.  Talking of two, this phone sports two cameras, whereas the Chat only has one.  The Chat does have GPS though and the 9800 doesn't.  Incidentally, both are roughly the same price.

Who actually makes the 9800 and how well it works is anyone's guess.  Let's face it, these Chinese knock-off phones tend to be a pile of you-know-what.  Shame as they often have some really nifty features that, if nothing else, look great on paper.  Here's a bunch more from the same retailer...

G104 - I'd have called it something classy like 'The Oyster'

I think this is a pretty good idea - in principle - but in reality it appears awful.  Would anyone dare wear this in public?  Doubtful - especially after watching this video...

JINGCHEN W400s

Here's another phone (to the left) with a TV tuner built-in.  A TV tuner that is temperature sensitive - apparently.  It's rather fugly so don't take pictures of yourself in the mirror holding it - as its camera is supposedly 5 MP.  It can be yours for a mere £67.

And finally, this one - which is my favourite of the bunch.  Why oh why can't this be made by a 'proper' mobile manufacturer?  I think it actually looks half decent (although there's no picture of anyone wearing it to be seen).  On top of that, there's only mock images of the screen.  Seriously, who throws down £120 on a phone when they've no idea what the display is like?

Sadly, I don't think this (or any of the other phones here) sport WiFi or 3G.  And, as for apps - well Java at best - so what's the point?

Wireless Watch

Oh and it's called the 'F3 Quad Band Bluetooth Touch Screen Watch Cell Phone' - I'm sure it sounds better in Chinese

A big hello to my new readers in Eighty Four, Pennsylvania and Sugar Land, Texas.  You guys come from the most awesomely named towns I've come across in a looooong while!  Of course, you're probably sick to the hind teeth about the topic of your hometown's names - although, in the case of Sugar Land, you may well not have any teeth left...